


Is Love Enough?

by sendricamp



Category: Pitch Perfect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendricamp/pseuds/sendricamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some secrets are better left unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chloe stretched out on Beca’s bed, watching the brunette give a confused look to the book in front of her. “You look like you don’t know whether to cuss it out or throw it across the room,” she said, taking another drink from her bottle of beer. Beca let out of a frustrated groan, tossing the book to the floor and grabbing the beer from Chloe’s hands, quickly finishing it. “Great, you are going to get drunk and then I am going to be arrested for supplying to a minor.”

“I would have to actually leave my dorm for that to happen,” Beca replied, leaning against the wall. She had entered Spring Break behind in almost every class, so she had bribed Chloe into coming over and helping her study. Which, apparently meant Chloe bringing beer and doing nothing to help the study process. “Seriously, though, give me another one. Maybe I can drink until numbers and letters make sense?” she asked, taking the beer from the redhead. “I get that I had to take a basic Math class last year, but why in the hell do I need more math credits if I don’t even know what I want my major to be?”

“I wish I could tell you that you use so much math in everyday life, but I would be lying,” Chloe replied, opening another beer for herself. “Let’s play twenty questions.”

Beca raised an eyebrow. “Are we twelve?”

Chloe shrugged.

“Fine. Fire away,” she smirked, a full smile breaking out when she saw the blush creep up Chloe’s cheeks.

“Tell me a secret that you have never told anyone else. I know you have a ton of them, so spill something good, Mitchell.”

Beca was silent for a moment, deciding on something from her teenage years. She smirked. “When I was fourteen, I got caught making out with my girlfriend by the preacher in the choir balcony at church,” she said. Chloe opened her mouth to comment but she quickly held up a hand. “She was the preachers daughter.”

Chloe let out a bark of laughter. “That’s brilliant!”

Beca nodded. “We didn’t date much longer after that. She ended up going to live with an Aunt for a while and by the time she came back, I had moved on.” She took a swig of beer before meeting Chloe’s eyes. “Same question. Tell me a secret about you. I feel like this should be more of a challenge for you since you are such an open book, Miss Beale.”

The redhead bit down on her bottom lip, pretending to think. “In my freshman year at Barden, I had a fling with a teacher,” she said, her eyes not leaving Beca’s. “It wasn’t for grades, I don’t think. I just.. I had been dumped just weeks before school started and the relationship had been hell and I had felt so broken and bruised and along comes this older man who is just caring.”

“Dude! Gross!” Beca said, her mouth open but the hint of a smirk still at the corners of her lips. “Why would you sleep with an old dude?!”

“I was eighteen! It isn’t like I really knew what I was getting myself into. He was married, too, and I think he had a kid. His.. uh.. his wife found out about us. He broke it off, but I guess the marriage still ended. He still teaches here, too. Comparative Literature, I think.”

The smile immediately left Beca’s face. “No. Get out.” She shook her head, standing up, pulling Chloe off the bed and pushing her purse into her hands before shoving her towards the door. “Just.. go.. get out. Now,” she said, willing the tears to stay away.

“Beca..”

The brunette took a few steps back, her face in her hands. “Warren Mitchell,” she mumbled, peeking through her hands. It took a few seconds for Chloe to realize what Beca had said. “You.. you were the reason my parents split up, Chloe. Fuck!” She sat down on her bed, letting the tears fall. Chloe put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t fucking touch me!” she snapped, batting the hand away. “My parents divorce destroyed my life, Chloe, and for the past year and a half I have been best friends with the reason for it! How is that supposed to make me feel? Tell me, please, because right now the fucking sight of you makes me sick.”

Chloe nodded, leaving the room. Beca heard the door click, finally looking up at the room. Her head was spinning. Her mother had told her that her dad had cheated on her, but she never said it was with a student. She needed to clear her head. Moving to her desk, she threw her headphones on and pulled up the base track of Sandstorm that she had been trying to tweak with something, immediately knowing the new song. Searching through her hard drive, she found it. Du Hast, with some slight editing of its BPM, fit perfectly over the base track. The beats pumped through her headphones at full volume, the tears flowing down her face.

Her phone screen lit up, seeing Chloe’s name. She hovered over the answer icon for just a moment before throwing it across the room as hard as she could, not caring when it broke into pieces. She wanted the music to go louder. She needed it to drown out the words that were circling her brain in Chloe’s voice. Sure, she hadn’t even known the redhead when it happened, but with it causing such a large event in her life, there was part of her that couldn’t not blame her.

And her father. He had not only cheated on her mother.. he had done so with a student. He had thrown away what Beca thought was a happy family life. She could remember the night her dad left, the tears in her moms eyes and the confusion on her own face. He went to a hotel just outside of Atlanta and her mother put the house up for sale and moved them back to Oregon. Her dad never tried to contact her, later saying he was unsure of what lies or stories she had been telling the teenager. But there were never lies. She had been told that her dad had been seeing someone else, and for the longest time after hearing about Sheila, she thought it had been the blonde woman.

But it had been Chloe. When she had invited the redhead over to help her study, she had hoped she would have finally worked up the nerve to kiss her. She sure as hell didn’t see the night going how it had. She kept her headphones on, moving to the bed and stretching out, letting the music keep its continuous blast going as she tried to force herself to sleep.

According to her laptop, it was after four in the afternoon when she finally woke up. Her headphones had fallen off and been pushed to the floor at some point. Her anger from the previous night had diminished, but she still felt like she needed answers. Ignoring the shards of her phone on the floor, she found her sneakers before grabbing her keys and leaving her dorm. She walked the few miles to her dads house, knocking on the front door, biting down on her bottom lip when Sheila opened the door. “Beca! What a surprise. Come on in,” she said.

Beca found herself second guessing every single mean thought she had ever had about the woman. She knew her hatred was based on the fact that she thought it had been the blonde who destroyed her parents marriage, but with the new information, she wasn’t sure about that hatred anymore. “Is my dad home? I need to talk to him.”

“He had to go out, but he will be back in a little while.” She led the two to the kitchen, grabbing a second mug from the cabinet, setting a tea bag in it and pouring hot water over it before setting it in front of Beca. “I know you don’t really like me, but is there anything I can help with?”

She slowly sipped at the tea for a moment, trying to figure out the best tactic. “Do you know why my mom and dad split up?” she asked, setting the mug down. “I always thought I knew, and then I found out some new information on it.. and I think I had it all wrong.”

Sheila remained silent for a moment, watching the younger woman. “It wasn’t me, if that is what you are thinking,” she finally replied.

Beca nodded. “I know this now. I actually.. for the longest time.. I did think it was you, and I treated you like shit because of it. I thought you were the evil entity that had stormed into my dads life and pulled my world apart. I took all this hate out on you, and last night.. last night, I learnt that you didn’t deserve any of it. I want to say how sorry I am for that, Sheila. I was a brat and I never even knew the whole story. It was so unfair of me.”

“What did you learn last night?” Beca jumped, turning to see Warren standing in the doorway. He didn’t seem upset, instead choosing to take a seat at the island.

“I met the person who ruined your marriage,” she said, her voice quiet. “Well, not really just met.”

She saw his jaw tighten. “Beca..”

“You had seen that I was friends with Chloe, dad, and you didn’t think to let me know I was.. dad, I am in love with her. I haven’t told her that.. I was going to last night.. I was finally going to tell her that I couldn’t fight being just her friend anymore.. do you know what that feels like? You fucked around with a student, and it ruined your marriage! Then you see me develop a friendship with said student and you didn’t do anything to stop it.”

Warren stayed silent, watching Beca.

“You had this perfect marriage, and you threw it all away for an eighteen year old!” she yelled.

“Beca,” he said, his voice stern, “the only thing perfect about my marriage to your mother was you.”

Beca opened her mouth to reply, snapping it shut.

“I should have told you the truth, Beca, but I can’t change that now. It was a stupid mistake on my part, but you can’t use it as a reason for the divorce. That marriage was going to end one way or another, and it just happened to speed up the process. I shouldn’t have let anything happen between Chloe and myself, and I know that, but I was in a bad place at the time, Beca. I was losing you to this music thing, and I had lost your mother long before that.”

She looked around the room, closing her eyes for a moment. “Did you instigate the relationship?” she choked out, wiping her eyes.

“Yes.”

Beca stood up, knocking the stool she was sitting on over, grabbing her bag from the table and storming out of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Her music was doing its job, she figured, by the look that Kimmy Jin shot her. How they had ended up as roommates again was beyond her, but she knew she would have found it weird without that glare for the school year. She watched from the corner of her eye as the other woman got up, opening the door, stepping aside to let Chloe in. Beca pulled off her headphones and slammed her laptop shut harder than planned before setting it on the bed beside her. “I thought I told you not to let her in,” she spat, watching as Kimmy Jin sat back down at her own desk. Her attention turned to Chloe, who looked tired. She hated that she found herself wondering if the redhead had even slept. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Then will you let me talk to you?” she asked, looking around the room. “Maybe somewhere a little more private?”

Beca rolled her eyes, standing up and shoving her keys and wallet into her pocket before walking out of the room. She could hear Chloe following her, keeping her pace, staying silent until they made it to the Bellas rehearsal space. “Fine. Talk.”

Chloe took a deep breath. “Beca, I don’t see how you can be entirely mad at me about this! I didn’t even know you when I was eighteen, much less know I was messing around with your father. But, instead of blaming that for the divorce, have you stopped to think that there were other factors in play? Maybe they weren’t so happy and that was just the final straw?”

“They could have worked through their problems, Chloe! But you were _fucking_ my dad! I get how some teachers and students do that shit, but he was _married_ and you even stated that you knew he had a kid, yet you still did it! What in the fuck is wrong with you, Chloe? What kind of person does that? And, don’t think I am giving you this treatment alone.” She ran her fingers through her hair, neither woman realizing the presence of the other Bellas entering the area for rehearsal. “Chloe, because of what you did, I spent years hating my step-mother, thinking she was the reason my dad walked out on me! But it was you!”

“Beca..”

“No! You don’t get to pretend like this is all going to work itself out! I love you, Chloe, I am so hopelessly head over heels in love with you and I was going to tell you that but then I find out that you were sleeping with my father and I just.. I don’t know what to do, anymore! I can’t stop loving you! I’ve fucking tried, but then I think about how much it hurt to see my dad leave and to think he found someone out there that he loved more than me or my mother! Do you know what that does to a fourteen year old? He just fucking left me, Chloe!” She turned, stopping in her tracks at the shocked faces of the other Bellas. Even Amy knew now was not the time to crack a joke. “Do whatever the fuck you want, I can’t do this today,” she said, pushing through them.

Beca made it as far as the sunlight outside before she fell to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest and letting herself cry. Arms were around her, and she was about to yell at Chloe -- because, God, they felt like Chloe’s arms, because maybe she was dreaming -- but she found herself looking at Cynthia Rose. She opened her mouth to say something, closing with when Cynthia Rose shook her head and pulled her close. “Come on, let’s go back to my dorm and get you calmed down,” she mumbled, helping the smaller woman up. Beca wiped her eyes, noticing that Stacie was with them.

“We have about five seconds to get you away from that door before Chloe comes busting through it,” Stacie said, leading the way towards campus. “Fat Amy started questioning her about it, and despite us telling her to stop, she wouldn’t. Chloe is pissed.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t give two shits about her feelings right now,” Beca snapped. “How much of it did you all hear?” she asked, her voice softer as Cynthia Rose let them into her dorm. She looked around, noticing that there were more of Stacie’s items in the room than should be normal. “Knew it.”

Cynthia Rose gently smacked her arm. “We, uh, we came in around the part where you said that Chloe had been fooling around with your dad. But how about we don’t talk about that?”

Beca nodded. “Good plan,” she sniffed, wiping more tears from her eyes before looking around again. “So, you two.. how long, now?”

“I asked her out about a month after classes started,” Stacie said, taking a seat on the bed next to Beca. “She, shockingly, didn’t immediately say yes. I guess I had this reputation and she didn’t know if I was looking for a bed buddy or what.”

“I still say that deciding to say yes was the perfect answer,” Cynthia Rose replied, sitting in the chair by the desk and resting her feet on the edge of the bed.

The room remained silent for a moment. “Chloe was helping me study and she decided we were going to play twenty questions and I asked her about a secret and she said she hooked up with a professor when she was a freshman. I just thought it was, like, ew, until she said he taught comparative literature and then everything just fell into place. Chloe.. Chloe was the reason my parents split up. I mean, she did make a point with maybe there had been some underlying reasons that I wasn’t aware of.. but her sleeping with my father was the last straw.”

Cynthia Rose and Stacie remained quiet, watching Beca.

“I went to see my dad the day after I found out, and I talked to Sheila -- the step-monster who isn’t really the monster I thought she was -- and apologized to her. I spent years blaming her for everything, when in reality, she was just.. just as innocent in the situation as I was. I’ve spent a lot of the past couple of weeks getting to know her. She met my dad before he had this thing with Chloe but they were only acquaintances. They started dating about three months after my dad walked out. It only seemed right for me to blame her for everything. But.. she is actually really amazing.”

“How so?” Stacie asked.

“Well, for one, if my dad is at the house, she suggests we go do something else because she knows I don’t want to see him. I mean, for fucks sake, he was the one who started the relationship. I.. I still don’t know why.. I haven’t been able to remain calm enough to talk to him since that first day. Normally, I would accuse myself of being childish, but in this case.. I think it is wiser to give it time. I tried talking to my mom, but she still won’t go into the details of what else could have caused the marriage to begin breaking. She.. uh.. she did tell me about Chloe, though.”

Cynthia Rose sat up, leaning forward.

“We used to live a bit from campus, and she was going to swing by and drop him off some lunch because she just.. she wanted to, you know? And she saw him leaving the building and she saw Chloe get into his car with him. She.. she followed them.. and they went to this fucking hotel and she confronted him.. if I had ever brought Chloe home, I don’t know what she would have done. She would have had the mind to tell me what was going on, because my dad knew I was friends with Chloe and he didn’t say anything to me.”

“And you are in love with her?” Cynthia Rose asked, her voice quiet.

Beca nodded. “I’ve known it for a while, but I was trying to fight it because.. you know.. who would want to waste their time with a damn-near college flunkie? When she suggested that we play twenty questions, I thought it would be the perfect time to ease into me telling her how I felt, you know? But then she said all of that and I said his name and her face.. it just dropped.. I had never seen her look so hurt. It was like.. like she knew that my world just fell down around me and it killed her that she was the reason. She tried to comfort me and I pushed her away. I told her that I was sick of the sight of her, and maybe I shouldn’t have said that.” She dug in her pocket, pulling out a flash drive. Handing it to Cynthia Rose, she took a breath. “I got up and made that mix right after it happened. It’s the song Sandstorm by Darude and Du Hast by Rammstein.”

Cynthia Rose plugged the device into her laptop and playing the song. “Damn, you got skills.”

Beca laughed. “I broke my phone,” she said, a strained smile on her face. “I was making that and I had the music so loud and I could see my phone vibrating and Chloe just wouldn’t stop calling me so I threw it across the room and busted it. I haven’t thought to get a new one, yet. I kind of like being hard to reach. Clearly, that hasn’t stopped Chloe. She has been following me and trying to get me to hear her out.”

“Do you want to hear her out?” Stacie wondered, her arm around Beca’s shoulders.

“I know I should. I should hear her out and I should hear my dad out.. but.. how is one supposed to correctly handle themselves in a situation like this? I feel like all I do is keep repeating myself and I just.. I don’t know what to do anymore,” she said, looking at the ground. “I wish I could say that if I met up with either of them in a public place, it would make it easier, but you saw what happened at the rehearsal hall! I can’t keep my emotions in check and I don’t want to make a scene. I just wish I could go back.. things were amazing when I didn’t know.”

Cynthia Rose leaned back in her chair, watching Beca as she carefully thought through her words. “Beca, you said it yourself.. if you mother met Chloe, she would tell you what had happened. What would be easier? Finding it out now, when there was no romantic relationship between you and Chloe or waiting until you have devoted all of this time and energy and love to her.. and then finding out that she had fooled around with your father? Which would you have an easier time dealing with?”

Beca was silent, looking at her friend.

“Your dad messed up and Chloe messed up. Maybe your parents might have been able to work through their other issues had it never happened, but maybe they wouldn’t. I don’t have experience with dads. Mine died when I was six. But I do know a lot about relationships and the fact that it takes two people to break one. You say that your dad cheating was the final straw, but you have to understand that, by no means, was it all his fault the marriage ended. How unhappy with other aspects he must have been to seek that contact elsewhere,” she said, carefully avoiding the use of Chloe’s name. “Having buffers will help the talk go. Have someone there who isn’t in either corner.”

“I don’t know anyone that detached from it that I trust. I mean, you two.. but you are also friends with Chloe.. I can’t bring in Aubrey because she is Chloe’s best friend and Jesse would never be able to stand to the side.”

Cynthia Rose shook her head. “I can remove myself enough from it to make sure things don’t get out of hand, Beca. Right now, I am not in your corner on things because I only know your side. I am your friend, and I am talking to you, but I am not in your corner until I have a definite reason to be. That sounds stupid, due to the situation, but it is a good way to live. I know I will be in yours by the end of it, but if I put myself there now, I don’t know everyone elses story. Does that make sense?”

Beca was still for a moment before nodding. “So, what do we do?”

“I’ll call Chloe and have her and Aubrey meet us at the rehearsal hall tomorrow at five. You get ahold of Sheila and tell her to bring your dad there and we will all sit down and see what we can figure out about how you should feel and how you can work this out in your own mind.”


	3. Chapter 3

Beca walked into the large room, noting how Aubrey and Chloe were on one side with Warren and Sheila on the other. “Okay, I know that I didn’t tell either of you what was going on, but I knew you might not show up if I did. This is a neutral space right now, okay? Chloe is going to get to tell her side of the story, with no interruptions and then my d -- Warren -- gets to tell his side, with no interruptions, understood?” She watched as the occupants of the room nodded.

“What about your feelings?” Sheila asked, moving to Beca and looking in her eyes. “Your thoughts and feelings count, too, you know.”

“I’ll take my turn after they have gone.”

Chloe stepped forward, keeping her eyes trained on Beca. “Where do you want me to start?” Beca shrugged, trying her hardest to keep her face void of emotion. “Beca, I don’t know what I was thinking, okay? I had been seeing this guy in high school, and he was a jackass. He treated me like shit, mentally and physically, and when I got to Barden, I was so broken. I was having trouble focusing on the work, so I would go to his office after class and try and figure out why I was falling behind so quickly. He would sit next to me and he would be closer and closer each and every day, and I never said no.”

Beca looked to the side, seeing Warren sitting with his head in his hands.

“I kissed him,” Chloe said, taking a deep breath. “It was late and I was at his office and I was about to leave and I just leaned up and kissed him. I left it at that, though, and it went back to my dorm and I just pushed it from my mind. I knew it was wrong. He was married. But when I was getting some more help the next night, I did it again before I left. Do you know what it feels like to be treated like shit for three years, and then someone comes along and they care about you? They listen to what you have to say!”

The redhead sat down in one of the seats, looking at her hands.

“It was two weeks after that when I kissed him, but didn’t leave. There was a couch, and it was happening before I knew it was happening. I should have stopped him. All I had to say was no, and it would have stopped, but I didn’t. I wanted the contact. I wanted to feel loved, even if it was from the wrong place.” She sighed. “I swore to myself that it was just going to be that one time, but then it just kept happening, and eventually we took it off campus.”

Beca felt like her head was spinning. She wobbled slightly, Sheila and Cynthia Rose leading her to a chair.

“It was two months later when we were caught. Your mom followed us, and I ended things in front of her. I dropped the class. I tried so hard to push it from my mind.” She looked across the room, meeting Warren’s eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Over Christmas, I had my mom take me to the hospital because I had these intense stomach cramps. When I got there.. and was checked out.. I was told that the pains were from a miscarriage.”

“I need some air,” Beca said, standing up and heading outside. She took a few deep breaths, turning as Sheila opened the door. “I swear I am not running away before hearing his side. I just.. that was a lot to take in..”

“He didn’t know,” she said. “If you had been looking at his face, he had no idea about the miscarriage.”

“I could have had a younger sibling. They weren’t even using protection!” she said, her voice raising. Sheila wrapped her arms around the younger woman, holding tightly. “Just when I thought they couldn’t get any more dumb.” She pulled back, looking at the blonde. “How could you still be with him, knowing all of this?”

She led them to a bench, keeping her arm around Beca’s shoulders. “It may sound stupid, but I love him. When we started dating, he was completely honest about the whole incident with Chloe. And when he told me that he had a feeling you were going to blame me for your parents divorce, he was so hurt. He didn’t want me to have to deal with that. But we do some really crazy things for love, Beca. He was beating himself up for what he did and how he hurt your mother and how he had to leave you. I never fought you on all the yelling and accusations, because I know that he didn’t want you to know.”

“You let me treat you like shit.”

“I did, but I don’t regret it. Your father saw you getting close with Chloe, but he didn’t feel right saying something. Things were starting to get better between the two of you and he didn’t want to ruin it. I talked to your friend Cynthia, and her and I agree on the fact that it is good it came out before you pursued something with Chloe. This is already destroying you, and everyone can see that. No one is going to blame you when you decide what to do, okay? Please believe me on that.”

Beca nodded. “Cyn told me imagine what it would have been like had I taken Chloe home to meet my mom.. what that would have done. But, the problem is, I love her. I can’t stop loving her.”

“And you are never going to stop loving her,” Sheila said. “That’s the drawback.”

The brunette took a shaky breath, wiping her eyes. “I think I am ready to go back in.”

They entered the building, Beca taking her seat next to Cynthia Rose, grabbing her hand tightly. Chloe had her head resting on Aubrey’s shoulder, her eyes red from crying. Aubrey was looking at Beca, her face unreadable. Sheila sat down next to Warren, watching as he composed himself before looking at Beca.

“I know that no matter what I say here, however I explain myself, the relationship we had been working to fix is going to be broken forever. I am going to lose you in my life, Beca, and I believe I deserve that. You had the image of your mother and I, and we were happy. We kept our fighting to ourselves. You were at school when it happened. The second you were home, it was all happy faces and caring about you. We were worried about you. You had been pulling away from us, and we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He took a breath.

“I would be lying if I said there was never any real attraction to Chloe. I took advantage over my position, and that was wrong.”

Beca raised her hand. “I know I said no interruptions, but I have one very important question.”

“Alright.”

“Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me that you instigated the relationship when it was her?”

“I wanted you to hate her a little less. If you thought that I started it, that I took advantage of my position, then there might be some hope that you two could work past it.” He shook his head. “The way I hurt your mother is something I can never forgive myself for. It was my idea for the two of you to move back to Portland. I thought it would be better for you to be around family when the divorce went through.”

Beca looked at the ground.

“I am never going to be able to say I am sorry enough to ever make this up to you. I do love you, Beca. You are one of the most important things in my life, and that will never change.”

“Anything else to add?”

Warren shook his head.

Beca nodded, keeping her attention on her dad. “I don’t want to cut you out of my life. I know it has seemed that way for the past few weeks, but I really don’t. You are right. We were rebuilding and I don’t want that to go to waste, but this hurt me. You knew that I was friends with Chloe, yet you still felt like it was wise to keep it a secret. You keep secrets, and that hurts, because I thought we both agreed that I am an adult now, and I figured that meant you could treat me like one.”

She looked at Chloe.

“I love you, but.. I can’t do anything with that knowledge. Yes, I might be able to hold your hand and curl up next to you at night, but when it comes down to it, I have the fact that my father was there before me hanging over my head. I wanted love to be enough, Chloe, but it isn’t.. not this time. My mom and dad fought, okay, but it was my mom finding you and my dad together that truly killed the relationship. Even if the love I have for you was enough, I couldn’t do that to my mother. I couldn’t take you home for Christmas and parade around in her face that you were my girlfriend. That would destroy her, and with everything that she gave up for me, I could never do that to her, and I hope you understand.”

Chloe nodded.

“I still want to be your friend, though. You make me laugh, and you know when I need to be left alone. I can count on you to tell me when my mixes suck, and you don’t sugar coat it. You were the first person to reach out to me when I thought I could block everything out, and that means the world to me. I don’t want to lose that friendship, understand?”

“Yeah,” she choked out.

“I am going to go back to my dorm. I need some time to sort through the other thoughts and feelings. I promise, when I am ready, I will contact the both of you, okay? Just, give me some time. I listened to both of you, and you listened to me. I just.. I need time.” She stood up, walking over to Warren. She wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly for a moment. She couldn’t fight the new waves of tears in her eyes as he returned the hug, kissing the top of her head. Breaking apart, she moved to Chloe.

“Beca, I am so sorry,” she whispered, standing up and wrapping her arms around the brunette. “I’m so sorry.”

Beca pulled away slightly, looking in her eyes. “Don’t think too much on this, but I have to.. I have to do this,” she mumbled, pressing their lips together. The dull ache in her chest started to worsen, knowing in that moment how much in love she was with her friend. “Fuck,” she whispered, stepping back. “I’ll call you,” she said. “When I am ready.” Before Chloe could open her mouth, Beca turned and walked towards the door, wiping her eyes. Cynthia Rose followed, wrapping her arms around Beca once they were outside. “It hurts.”

“It’s love.”

“But it isn’t enough, is it?” Beca asked, the words coming out in choked sobs. “It’s never going to be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I had a lot of trouble getting this last chapter written, because I knew what I wanted to happen, but the words were failing me. There will be no follow-up, this is the final chapter. This is the end of the story. I look forward to your responses.


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